FreeBooks #11: Snapdragon Alley by Tom Lichtenberg

Tom Lichtenberg writes curiously engaging novellas. His stories are not driven by action but by mood and metaphysics. His premises often begin with fairly standard, often vaguely science-fiction concepts: time travel in Time Zone, for example, or mind control in World Weary Avengers. But he spins those concepts out into melancholy, thoughtful tales.

Lichtenberg cares little about the mechanics of the MacGuffins that underlie his stories. Rather, he explores the emotion and (often) dislocation that people feel when confronted by something outside their normal experience. In Somebody Somewhere that "something" is as commonplace (relatively speaking) as a kidnapping and hostage situation; in Time Zone, as noted above, the "something" is as vast an incomprehensible as travel through time. Lichtenberg's characters may adapt to the situation or ignore it, or become totally overwhelmed; but the true story is always in those emotions and responses, rather than the rote turnings of some formulaic plot device. Although Lichtenberg's spare, quiet style could not be more different than H.P. Lovecraft's ornate verbal extravagance, the two share a conceptual interest in exploring how people respond when conventional reality is stripped away.

Lichtenberg's prose in some of his novellas ranges pretty far into the experimental; although I have enjoyed some of these, my admitted preference is for those works that hew a bit closer to a traditional narrative style. My favorite thus far is Snapdragon Alley, the story of young friends who discover a vacant lot at the end of a bus line that, perhaps, is more than it seems.

Lichtenberg's "launching point" for Snapdragon Alley is nothing new (Lichtenberg himself gives away in his back-cover blurb that, in investigating the lot, the children "encounter the possibility of" a gateway to "another dimension"). Nor, despite some interesting narrative quirks along the way, are the bare facts of how the story plays out particularly novel. But Lichtenberg captures beautifully the poetry of what such a gateway might mean to the people who stumble across it, and the emotions it might inspire. There are no loud explosions in Snapdragon Alley, or, indeed, very much overt action at all. But the novella, like much of Lichtenberg's writing, inspires an appreciation of just how vast, mysterious and majestic "reality" is, and that is both a far tougher task and a greater triumph.

Lichtenberg recently made several of his novellas (including Snapdragon Alley and all of the others mentioned above) available for free on Smashwords. (He also maintains a complete index of all of his works, including a link for free webpage reading of each and additional links for download sources, here.) Beyond Snapdragon Alley, other recommendations include Orange Car With Stripes (described by Lichtenberg as an "atheist science fiction comedy," as good a description as any) and, on the slightly more experimental side, the aforementioned Time Zone. However, all of Lichtenberg's novellas are quick reads and well worth checking out.

FreeBooks #10: The Adventures of Portly Boy by Ray Weeks

Howard McKay isn't really a superhero. He doesn't have any superpowers. In fact, he's a fat alcoholic, who only dresses up in a fluorescent yellow body suit (complete with pink running shorts and boots) because of an unfortunate incident in which he mooned a judge during a drunken romp through the park. As his punishment, the vindictive judge sentenced Howard to an even more unfortunate community service sentence: to patrol the city streets as a citizen watchdog, while dressed in the rather unique aforementioned ensemble.

Moreover, The Adventures of Portly Boy isn't really a novel. Rather, it is a compilation of the first 37 installments (of a total of 69) of a meandering serial narrative that author Ray Weeks posted on the Strangelands website between March 2004 and January 2007 (to go directly to the Portly Boy part of the website, click here). Because Chapter 37 ends at something of a natural (if abrupt) breaking point, Weeks evidently decided to make those chapters available as a free, convenient pdf download from Lulu (and also as a $16.67 paperback, for those who want a more corporeal embodiment of Portly Boy's adventures).

So, for many reasons, Portly Boy is not really a "superhero novel." It is, however, absolutely hilarious. Weeks has a light touch and a genuine gift for situational humor. Howard is an appealing schlub protagonist, and the supporting cast of cut-rate sidekicks and not-so-super villains are appropriately eccentric and amusing. Howard's adventures are consistently fun and, amazingly enough given the glib nature of the entire enterprise, manage to be genuinely tense and exciting at times.

To be sure, the serial nature of Portly Boy's origins, where the original episodes were stretched over a period of nearly three years, takes its toll. Certain jokes are repeated over and over. Nor is there more than the barest whiff of an ongoing plot. Yet none of that undercuts Portly Boy's essential good humor or entertainment value, and I look forward to reading the remaining uncollected adventures (nearly as extensive as the adventures collected in this book) available at the Portly Boy website.

FreeBooks #9: Playing for Keeps by Mur Lafferty

Laura "Keepsie" Branson is in the Third Wave of people born with superpowers: anyone who tries to steal from her gets frozen in place. A few years ago, her power was judged inadequate, and her application to train with the First and Second Wavers at the Seventh City hero Academy rejected. So now Keepsie quietly runs her bar, catering to her minor-league peers. Until she suddenly finds herself at the center of an epic battle between the mightiest heroes and villains of Seventh City, and Keepsie and her friends discover that it is up to them to save the day -- if they can figure out whose side they're really on.

Mur Lafferty's Playing for Keeps is an intriguing but imperfect effort. Lafferty is a clearly a talented writer, and her colloquial style, appealing common-folk (if superpowered) protagonists and skill with action scenes go a long way towards holding the reader's interest. The story, however, does not feel fully developed. The novel is paced a little oddly, with Keepsie and her friends doing a lot of running about that doesn't seem to advance the plot. The motivations of both the "heroes" and "villains" that Keepsie must confront are at times unclear, and their characterizations feel similarly inconsistent. Nonetheless, Playing for Keeps shows tremendous promise both in its writing and its basic premise, and, given the near-cliffhanger nature of the book's conclusion, we will hopefully see more, better-realized adventures of Keepsie and her crew.

Playing for Keeps is available in several different formats, including as a free download (or a $16.99 paperback) from Lulu or as a free audiobook from PodioBooks. Check out the very thorough Playing for Keeps website for other options and extras; Lafferty also maintains a general website here.

FreeBooks #8: Deadolescence by Robert Devereaux

Robert Devereaux's Deadolescence (A Tale of Love and Sacrifice) is a slippery customer. The story is set in the Demented States of America, where violence is a way of life and decent people live in threesomes (so long as the threesomes are mixed-gender; after all, same-sex threesomes are just wrong). To prepare them for the rigors of adulthood, high school seniors undergo a deadly prom night rite of passage: one couple is picked at random to be slaughtered by a designated slasher, chosen from the ranks of the high school faculty. This year, however, something has gone very wrong at Corundum High. And a lot more than one couple's blood is going to be spilled. . . .

At first, everything about Deadolescence seems too blunt. The satire is obvious: the President of the Demented States of America is a literal puppet, for goodness' sake. The violence (and there is a lot of it) is graphic, gory and extreme. So is the sex; there is stuff going on with piercings and zippers that I really don't want to think about any more. Be warned: this book is not for the squeamish.

But once I acclimated to the excess (more or less; the finale takes it up another notch and truly made me squirm), I was able to appreciate the novel's considerable strengths as well. The story as a whole is smartly paced and plotted, with an effective conclusion that thoughtfully, if gruesomely, caps all that came before. There are also tinges of subtlety and humor amidst the novel's extremes, whether in the amusing portrayal of anti-government crusaders or in the more quiet moments of genuine fear, such as when a young girl must hide in a closet while unspeakable things go on outside.

Perhaps the most surprising -- and ultimately telling -- aspect of Deadolescence is how much we come to empathize with, or at least understand, the students, teachers and parents of Corundum High. Violence and the infliction of pain are fundamental parts of life in the Demented States of America. The characters who inhabit that world, naturally enough, largely tolerate (and even endorse) the society in which they have always lived. As a result, they accept and do things that we, as readers in the United States of America, might (and hopefully do) find barbarous. Yet even if we don't always agree with their worldview, we can at least begin to understand it, given the context in which it developed. Despite our profound differences in values, we can even relate a little bit, as we wonder how we would behave if we grew up in their world.

I don't mean to make too much out of Deadolescence. It is, in essence, a slasher film in novel form. But as such things go, it is an especially fine and intelligent slasher film. It is filled with effective gore, real frights, and good characters, is thoughtful enough to have real substance, and is great fun to boot.

As of this writing, Deadolescence is available for free at the author's website. Grab it while you can; Devereaux has promised to try to bring the book to print, either from a traditional publisher or, if necessary, POD. (And I must say, in the event that you don't read this until after the novel is no longer available for free: if you can stomach extreme horror, Deadolesence is well worth paying for). For more graphic violence-and-sex fun, this time set in a world where Santa Claus and fairy tales are real, check out Devereaux's equally extreme Santa Steps Out, published by Leisure Books and available used on Amazon.

FreeBooks #7: A Dancing Bear by Mark Osher

Poor Fenton Bland. His life at college is rapidly spiraling out of control. It's bad enough that he's stuck in the class of Professor Ivan Lego, whose theory of socioliterology -- the concept that any writing is wrongfully oppressive because "it owes its very existence to a foundational act of suppression, namely, the suppression of non-language" -- is taking the academic world by storm. It's even worse that he's inadvertently given Pamela, a student activist with whom Fenton shares a deep, dark shame, the idea to strike a blow for the disenfranchised by campaigning for the release of a notorious serial killer. Still worse, Fenton's relationship with his lesbian faux-vegetarian deadbeat housemates is worse than ever (not least because of the dead cat). But worst of all is that the student Maoist group that Fenton joined solely for the purpose of getting close to the beautiful Charmaine is singularly focused on announcing itself by assassinating someone, and Fenton is stuck right in the middle of the plot.

Don't worry if you don't have a good sense of what "Maoists" are. Neither do I. Nor, for that matter, do the members of the Maoist group. And that, in a nutshell, is what makes Mark Osher's delightful A Dancing Bear such a spot-on primer to the college experience. It's all there: the students whose big plans and grand statements are undermined by their own lack of understanding (and ability). The academics whose outré theories are driven by self-promotion rather than genuine relevance. The everyman stuck in the middle, trying to do what is right but restrained by his own passivity. And, of course, the university public bathrooms:

No gent in his right mind had ever employed this door more than twice, in very quick succession: once on his uninformed way in; and once more, about two seconds after that, to effect an appalled and lifelong departure. For behind this door lay the most deplorable block of toilets on campus. Clearly, something had gone badly wrong in there. It was as though at some point the facility had been officially forgotten, had slipped outside the purview of whatever body or agency was meant to stand between such places and anarchy. Maybe during an administrative restructure it had vanished into the grey area between two spheres of responsibility. Maybe every cleaner in the university just assumed some other cleaner was cleaning it. In any case, it was beyond redemption now. The cubicle doors swung crookedly from busted hinges, like wounded soldiers being helped along a trail. The lights buzzed and flickered like dying flies. . . .

And the stench … the stench was the stench of the jungle. No man who smelled it could possibly retain any of those frayed illusions concerning the supremacy, or even the adequacy, of his gender. But the really alarming thing about this reek was this: it kept getting worse. Which could only mean one thing. People kept contributing to it. Somewhere on campus there existed men who were still prepared to use this facility – men who thought it a fit venue in which to bare the most intimate parts of their flesh. Who were they, these men? Chillingly, they had to be out there in the general population, blending in, walking past you every day without your knowing it. Maybe they were your friends, your tutors. The guy with the mysterious grin who ran the bakery. The shuffling first-year with the bad skin and the walkman. Elderly professors who wore sneakers with their slacks and accused your essays of being “prolix,” hardy old campaigners who probably took broadsheet newspapers in there and settled in for the long haul. The insane. The incontinent. Fugitives from justice. The damned.

A Dancing Bear is consistently hilarious, combining effective satire of academic, political and individual pomposity with regular moments of slapstick, laugh-out-loud humor. However, equally impressive is the novel's philosophical heart. For all of its worthwhile silliness, A Dancing Bear also is concerned with deeper questions that confront all collegians, and, for that matter, all thinking people. Can I steer my life where I want it to go? Or am I locked in to a path set by outside forces or simple inertia? What would it take to change my life? A Dancing Bear seamlessly works these weighty themes into its rollicking tale, ultimately proving satisfying on many levels.

All told, A Dancing Bear is a brilliant success and is highly recommended. It is available for free at the official website (which is very amusing in its own right), either as chapter-by-chapter webpages or as a printer-friendly RTF file of the complete novel. The novel is also available as a free downloadable audiobook. As the website notes, "the world is fast running out of excuses not to read this book."

Freebooks #6: How and Why Lisa's Dad Got To Be Famous by Michael Allen

How and Why Lisa's Dad Got To Be Famous by Michael Allen (aka the Grumpy Old Bookman) is a quiet little book with a salacious-sounding plot: a reality show producer stages a show wherein Harry, the eponymous dad and an HIV positive man, must find a woman willing to sleep with him notwithstanding his condition. Despite a frank attitude towards sex and some rather explicit images (the climactic moment of the show is to be captured from within the woman on a pre-inserted miniature camera), the story is actually rather low-key and the satire rather benign (if only because the reality of reality television these days is already so extreme). If the novel (like the almost too salt-of-the earth, plainspoken Harry) lacks something in conflict and excitement, Allen nonetheless maintains a consistently congenial atmosphere that keeps the reader pleasantly interested and involved throughout the tale.

Lisa's Dad . . . is available as a pdf download here.

FreeBooks #5: The Flesh Remembers & Dark Terrains by Richard Wright

In late 2005, Richard Wright released The Flesh Remembers as a free pdf on his website. (A paperback is also available through Lulu or Amazon.) The Flesh Remembers is a terrific, genuinely creepy novella about Dexter Lomax, a tabloid reporter who, investigating a series of small, mysterious craters, stumbles across a nasty secret involving flayed bodies (living and dead), an unconventional videotape, and some rather unpleasant Lovecraftian things. Lomax's first-person narration builds perfectly to capture both Lomax's terror and his pity as he doggedly uncovers the truth, rendering The Flesh Remembers worthwhile for any horror fan.

In late 2006, Wright released Dark Terrains, a collection of short stories, also as a free pdf on his website. (And again, a paperback is available through Lulu or Amazon for those who so prefer.) Although the compilation as a whole was released a year after The Flesh Remembers, the collected stories reflect some of Wright's earlier work, and most if not all of the individual tales predate the novel. As a result, Dark Terrains unsurprisingly is somewhat inconsistent, and does not reach the heights of The Flesh Remembers. Nonetheless, many of the stories are quite compelling, including "The Jealous Dead," which perfectly lampoons (in a very serious way) the attention lavished on Princess Diana's passing; "Feedback," a quirky story about an unfortunate day in the life of a man who doesn't realize that he's an empath; and "The Ghosts of Christmas Presents," a story about love and murdered kittens that is almost heartwarming. Almost.

More information on both of the above works is available at Wright's website, along with information on some of Wright's other books that are available for purchase.

FreeBooks #4: Geek Mafia by Rick Dakan

Paul Reynolds' business partners have just told him that his services are no longer required at the company he helped establish. A band of free-wheeling, high-tech scam artists, led by the beautiful Chloe, offer to help him obtain the severance package he feels he deserves. Now Paul is becoming ever more involved with Chloe and her crew, leading a more exciting -- and dangerous -- life than he ever imagined.

I first learned about Rick Dakan's Geek Mafia through an ad he placed on Boing Boing. Although certainly an expensive investment, it appears to have paid some dividends in terms of attracting readers (and Cory Doctorow's subsequent very positive review on Boing Boing undoubtedly helped as well). Whether he ever recouped this investment, I admire an author who is aggressive enough to put advertising money where his pen is.

And Geek Mafia deserves Dakan's vote of self-confidence. The novel reads like a fun Hollywood motion picture, filled with colorful characters, fast action and escalating double-crosses. Geek Mafia may also share some implausibilities with summer popcorn flicks -- how is it that beautiful women always fall so quickly and soundly for the nerdy nice guys in these stories -- but so what? The point here is simple enjoyment, and Geek Mafia delivers.

Geek Mafia is available as a free pdf download here. If you enjoy the book, consider buying the cheap $5 paperback here. Like any good cinema-style romp, a sequel is already well underway.

FreeBooks #3: An Opening Act of Unspeakable Evil by Jim Munroe

Kate's life is a bit unusual. Her roommate Lilith may (or may not) be an actual demoness. She certainly engages in bizarre rituals. Seeing an opportunity to break out of her rut, Kate talks Lilith into taking her act on the road as a performance art piece.

An Opening Act of Unspeakable Evil by Jim Munroe is a slice-of-life novel in the form of a blog, following nine months of Kate's entries about her experiences with Lilith and on tour. Like many real bloggers who focus on their personal lives, Kate is likable if a bit too earnest, and her story convincingly captures a young person trying to find herself by adding some excitement to her life. Even so, Kate's story on its own could easily have become boring. However, the "is she or isn't she" questions floating around Lilith add just enough spice to hold the reader's interest without descending in silliness or fantasy. And in the end, Lilith's growth and self-discovery are the most compelling parts of the novel.

The entire text of An Opening Act . . . can be read in blog format for free at RoommateFromHell.com (the URL of Kate's blog in the novel). If you want a more convenient paperback, one can be purchased directly from Munroe or on Amazon. Munroe also has some great t-shirts available for sale (and has made the design available for free if you want to make your own).

FreeBooks #2: Memories of Home by Derek M. Koch

In honor of Valentine's Day, I present Memories of Home by Derek M. Koch (available for free download on Lulu). After growing up together, Max and Lisa have only been dating for a few hours. Unfortunately, they're now trapped by a sinister (if ill-defined) force in the Jefferson Theatre, an old-time movie house where Max once accidentally killed a man. As if this first date weren't already bad enough, Max's previous girlfriend also shows up, apparently possessed by the same nebulous evil and out for blood.

I know it's unfair of me to criticize Memories of Home. The novel was written in only 30 days as part of National Novel Writing Month (or NaNoWriMo). Koch readily admits in his introduction that the novel needs further work, which is why he is giving it away for free.

And Koch is not being modest when he says that Memories of Home is still rough. He does a credible job of setting up an aura of dread and mystery. However, once Max's friend (under the influence of the aforementioned evil) pulls a gun to force Max and Lisa to accompany him to the Jefferson, the story starts spinning in hamster-wheel circles. Various characters sporadically get possessed by the something, and then come to their senses. A variety of menacing, if somewhat haphazard, nasties chase our heroes around. Everyone runs several laps around the Jefferson, but no one ever arrives anywhere. Then the evil and the novel both just stop (when, I suspect, the 30 day NaNoWriMo window ended). I don't require everything to be explained in a horror novel -- indeed, I often think a novel works better when substantial mystery remains -- but here, the menace is not so much mysterious as arbitrary.

What's amazing -- and at times frustrating -- is how clearly Koch's talent shines through despite these problems. Even when the novel starts treading water, it does it with panache. The writing remains polished and effective, and many individual scenes are truly unnerving. The novel may have significant structural problems, but I nonetheless enjoyed reading it for the power of the discrete moments.

Which, ultimately, prompted this FreeBooks entry. I want to encourage Koch to keep up his efforts. I want him know that someone (someone he doesn't even know) is reading is work, and that I truly look forward to his next book. Because even horror authors need love on Valentine's Day (although I'm sure Koch will understand -- and, indeed, be grateful -- if I leave the heavy lifting in this regard to his wife).

For more information on Koch, check out his website and blog.

FreeBooks #1: Saints Visible by Justin Gil

Saints Visible by Justin Gil (available for free download on Lulu) is a charming, folksy tale about what happens when a fundamentalist preacher arrives in small, easy-going Brahmton and his influence begins to grow. The town librarian's narration is funny and relaxed, and even the rather abrupt, too-easy resolution is tonally consistent with the novel's laid-back charms. All in all, Saints Visible is a quick, satisfying read for a low-key evening.

Unfortunately, Gil appears neither to have his own website nor to have written anything else to date.

FreeBooks #0: An Introduction

In order to make everyone's work week a little bit brighter, every Wednesday night I'm going to post a link to a free downloadable e-book. Because the proper way to celebrate the coming weekend isn't with a beer or a new episode of Beauty and the Geek (as much as I love that show), but with a new POD novel!

These are not going to be full-length reviews (not that my normal reviews even really rise to the level of "full-length"). Rather, where I've read the whole book, I'll post a short capsule review. Other times, I'll write about a book that looks intriguing after the first few chapters, but that I haven't yet had the chance to finish.

One thing I want to make perfectly clear: the fact that I write about a book on "FreeBook Wednesday" rather than in a standard review is not an implicit assertion that the book isn't up to par or that it in any way is not worthy of my (and your) time and attention. I most definitely do not mean to punish any book for having the decency to be free. The very first book I reviewed on this blog, Soren Narnia's outstanding Roll! They Cried, which I tremendously enjoyed, is available for free on Narnia's website. Rather, this is just another way of trying to get word of worthwhile books out there, to my vast readership.

By the same token, finding a meritorious free e-book every week is going to be a challenge. I encourage (i.e., beg) you to let me know about any interesting free finds you've stumbled across.

And now, on with the FreeBook show . . .